It's Getting Closer

I have a few things I'de love to share with you lovely people :D

    Summer is ALMOST over!  Well for me and many other band kids at Boonville it is.  Band camp starts up again June 19.  Sadly, it's June 2.  I'm excited for marching band I'm just not excited for summer to be over with yet.  There is still so much I wanna do!

    I finally got my car!! Well, sorta.  It's a white '99 Chevy Cavalier.  It is a pretty nice car and it has a sunroof.  So I am pretty happy with it  My aunt needed a new car because it was getting hard to afford her van.  So she was gonna get another car and trade in her van or something like that.  Well for something quicker, she decided to go ahead and get the car my mom was paying for from my sister and brother-in-law and use it for a while.  So as of now, we share the car.  I can't even drive it yet because she doesn't have my name on the insurance.  Which is a huge bummer, and is like a major tease with it being in the driveway and not being able to drive it!  Hopefully my aunt or mom will be able to add my name this next week.  it's all about the money baby!

     I was totally and completely wrong about what was going on between me and Jacob.  I thought you know, maybe he does care about me.  That he had to feel some kind of connection since i was feeling a huge connection that I couldn't even explain.  I had such a deep desire and passion for him.  It was pretty much impossible to hide.  Especially when I would be talking to him.  All those little things that were so big to me that I thought were the same to him, probably was never there for him.  There was so much to him that I just easy loved and fell for.  The whole entire time I should've listened to Chris and James.  I finally confronted Jacob about my feelings.  I told him I understood that he recently got out of a relationship and that he didn't want to be with anyone or was slightly interested.  I knew he didn't want to think about boys at all.  Then I asked him that besides that, is there anything there for me?  Do you like me at all; is there any hope for me?  And I asked if i should wait for him.  He told me that he wasn't sure if he liked me, and that it probably isn't a good idea to wait.  Then later I asked if he really wasn't sure.  I just wanted the dead beat truth.  So he told me he didn't like me, but wasn't sure if its cause of what went on or not.  By that point I was already fighting tears.  I couldnt really ask much more becuase I was using my aunt's cell and it was wasting minutes.  Looks like I'm going to have to accept friendship.  I never felt so humiliated or stupid.  At least we are friends; I'm not gonna complain too much :P.

     I have dreamed of auditioning for American Idol for a long time now.  Now is the year I am eligable, but I'm starting to have doubts if that is what I really want to do.  I mean I enjoy singing but I'm not sure if that is really what I want to do.  Besides I don't think it would be worth spending money to take a trip to auditions for if I'm not interested.  I have until June 19th to decide. 

     Some things I am looking forward to in the next few months are enjoying my last few days of summer, marching band, the marchathon, gay day at holiday world, and surprisingly school.  I have a feeling this school year is gonna be a big one.

Chicago Pride Twenty[10]

CHICAGO PRIDE WAS AMAZING!

     Sunday, June 27, 2010 at 4AM a nice handful of people got on the coach bus for the trip to Chicago.  It had stopped at Owensburo first to pick up a few people from there.  Then it made its wat to Evansville

     Saturday night, when i had planned on getting ready at Alex's house like I mentioned in my other post, had totally failed on me and everything screwed up.  Alex's sister went into labor.  So she had to be at the hospital all day.  Thus, leaving me to do my hair and stuff.  Luckily I was with Chris Brace that night and he had a straightener.  We ended up making it look somewhat good but the bad part is we were going to a party and his boyfriend's friend's house.  This was about at 10PM where it's still somewhat hot and now all the bugs are out, and of course, we were outside. 

     My hair started curling up from the sweat and I had bug spray on so no more mosquitoes would bite me.  It was awful and I felt disgusting.  I wasn't going to be able to clean up either becuase we were going straight to the bus after the party.  By that point I was pretty upset cause i really wanted to look good and make really good impressions.

     Me and Chris arrived at the hotel where the bus was picking us up at about three when it was suppose to be there.  Apparently, the owner got it confused and thought they were suppose to be at Owensburo by three.  The bus then wouldn't be at Evansville until four.  So we had to wait for about an hour till the bus actually got here.

     Once we got on the bus, everyone noticed it was hot and humid, and that not very much air was blwoing out of the vents.  The air conditioner wasn't working right.  So we all had to sit on a hot and humid bus for the whole trip up there.  yea, that made my looks even better!  By that point I just gave up.  I didn't care anymore.  I was just ready to get to Chicago.

     Chicago overall was so beautiful and the pride was queertastic!  There were so many people, lots of color and unique hair and outfits.  Many guys in there underwear, which was REALLY hot.  It was just such a good time being in an environment like that.  It is something I will never forget and I look forward to going again next year.  Hopefully my friends and I can take a road trip up there and spend a night up in Chicago and be there for pride. 

     When it was time to leave, the bus's AC had not yet been fixed.  So Wally bought us all Starbucks and we waited around while someone came to fix it.  It took a couple of hours but I think it was worth it to have AC.  It felt a lot better going home.  I even slept fine on the bus.  I had not slept since I woke up Saturday morning.  Yeah, I was exhausted, but the whole trip was worth it!