Jesus Christ Superstart

Boonville High School Thespian Troupe #950 did an EXCELLENT job with Damn Yankees last Spring.

This year, we are performing the musical, Jesus Christ Superstar. Like I said in a previous blog, I got the part of an Apostle. Judy a few days aago gave the Apostles without names a name for this one scene. My name has been declared as John.

Our show has been coming along AMAZING. The dancing is great, and so is the singing. We have made it through the first act and working on a few of the numbers in the second act.

Opening night is Thursday, April 22 at 7PM and continues Friday and Saturday, April 23 & 24 at 7PM and Sunday, April 25 at 2PM

Below is a video from JCS 2000 version. Its one of my favorite scenes

Its Alright, Its Ok

After everything that has happened from the tears, pain, and uncontrollable mixed feelings, I'm finally doing better. After realizing some things and some intense thinking, I feel alot better. No, it doesnt take away the pain but it does help. So do some other things that I can't really explain to you.

So this post is very short, I know. But i just wanted you to know that I'm surviving.
No boi, or anyone, is going to ruin my life. I am who I am and nothings going to take that away from me.

I Wanna Disappear

You know how when you kiss someone, you either feel something or you dont, but if you do, you want that kiss more and more? Or that you just want to stay in the position you are in forever?

I fell for him. He was my everything and I was his. We connected, we shared something, and we were so special. After everything Ive been through, I never expected to find someone and let alone fall for someone so soon.
I wasnt IN LOVE I dont think, but I did love him. He might not have loved me yet, but I know his feelings toward me were strong. There was passion, emotion, and truth. I saw it in his eyes and I felt something strong everytime I dazed into those sparkling eyes.
I know I say I feel something with a lot of people but this was a different something. It was better, I was happier, and it was real. I had never felt so beautiful, so flawless, so perfect because he made me feel that way.

I could honestly go on for hours, telling you how I feel, but it doesnt matter anymore...

its over...

the feelings died he said...

I dont know if I believe tht or not, but it still hurts like a bitch. Oh and if it makes things better, he is dating my ex now, Tyler. You know how much that KILLS me? I was so furious, so hurt, so upset when I found out. Oh and SO confused!!!! I didnt understand anything anymore. I also lost some self esteem too. I dont feel so attractive anymore, or like Im a good person at all. I feel that Im stupid, not good at anything, a "backup plan", and just overall misunderstood.

Not a day goes by Im not thinking of him and all the little things he did that I loved. All the memories flood my mind constantly and wont stop for a split second. Its so hard not to just break down and cry when Im out. Everything in this world reminds me of him and Im not even kidding.

I just dont understand...
How he can give up on us like that. How he could just drop me like that. He says he doesnt feel anything for me anymore but I dont believe that one bit. He is coming up with excuses because he is infatuated by Tyler.

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ABOUT A MONTH LATER

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Well, lets just say with Tyler's help, I have learned more about him and well, its been interesting. Im not gonna discuss it but turns out, I'm kinda glad we are over. I see who he really is, and I can't believe I fell for it, and for him.

He hurt me, but that has just made me stronger, and smarter. It's gonna be tough to be with someone, but I know I can do it.

The past, is in the past...

=]